I'm eating all of the evidence.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
