Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
