On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
50% drunk capacity currently
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
