He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He did a backflip because drugs
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