did you get engaged???
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
