the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
