It's Friday. Sex?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
