her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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