Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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