is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
