Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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