i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
