nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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