Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
