At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
