i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
