You smell like stripper and shame
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
