4 words: hood of his car
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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