That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
