my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
