Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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