8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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