I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
