I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize