I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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