Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
