I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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