ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i need some magic done to my vagina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
