I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
