I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize