you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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