dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
where are my eyebrows?
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