Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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