We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
