Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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