did you get engaged???
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
