why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
