is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
