He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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