Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
