this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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