Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
