I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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