how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize