I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
