"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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