There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize