you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
