whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
