and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
