i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
