i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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