I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
