His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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