I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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