I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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